Smart Ass Love-Doll

Love Dolls

    A review of the Smart Ass Love Doll. A fantasy sex doll review on the unofficial, unauthorized love doll lover’s web site.

complete table of contents listing all dolls

Smart Ass Love-Doll
U.S. $115.00
U.S. $126.95 Discreet Online Shopping
U.S. $149.95 4 Play Sex Toys
deluxe 3 holes $96-157
supine white skin blonde hair
face mask
blow job

    The Smart Ass Love-Doll is one of the great dolls. Her key feature is that she has a molded pussy lips and pussy mound, as well as a molded anus. Other dolls also have molded pussy and anus, but the Smart Ass Love-Doll has the best. Her pussy lips are soft and pliable—you can suck on them for hours—and her clit is the most suckable clit of any doll. Her anus is tight but not too tight. Most molded anuses are so tight that it is a struggle to use them—the Smart Ass Love-Doll has a very pleasant, usable, but still tight anus.

    The Smart Ass Love-Doll has the standard flat on her back form, has standard molded plastic tits, and a face mask on her head (most of hair is painted on). But of all the dolls made, this is my favorite doll face. Some dolls attempt to look like realistic women and end up being disappointing. Other dolls go for the full on doll look. The Smart Ass Love-Doll goes with the classic cartoonish “fuck-me” doll look and has a beautiful face that looks like it is yearning for a dick to be stuck into her innocent mouth.

    The Smart Ass Love-Doll has a variable speed battery powered vibrator shared by both her pussy and her ass.

    “Life-size love doll with a beautiful face and sassy blonde hair!” —4 Play Sex Toys

    “3 Penetration orifices. Internal vibrator has variable-speed remote control for incredible sensations You control the speed, power, and action. Made of extra thick rubber-vinyl. Holds up to 275 lbs! Complete with repair kit.’ ” —Discreet Online Shopping

    “Delve into my real life vibrating vagina and anus, they are so real you will not believe it! I come ready to please! I am life size with big beautiful breasts, a lovely-sculpted face and sexy blonde hair. I can support any man up to 275 lbs. I am ready—are you?” —4 Play Sex Toys

I’m the Smart Ass!
and I’m ready for you anytime you want me!
I have ways to satisfy like nobody’s business!

—The Smart Ass Love-Doll box cover

    “I’ll love every sex act that you can think of!” —The Smart Ass Love-Doll box cover

    “Let’s have some fun! I only want to have sex and screw all night, With You!
You can have me in any way,…in every way!
I just want you to explore every sexual fantasy you can imagine,…with me!
” —The Smart Ass Love-Doll box cover

    “I love every sex act that you can imagine. Explore any sexual fantasy that you can think of,…with me!” —The Smart Ass Love-Doll box cover

    “I’ll love making real, live sex, in your bed, in the shower, on the floor, in every way,…with you!
To make horny sex, with you, is what I live for … just to please you in any and every way!
” —The Smart Ass Love-Doll box cover


—The Smart Ass Love-Doll box cover

    A Swedisherotica product. California Exotic Novelties, Inc., Chino, CA. Made in Taiwan and U.S.A. —The Smart Ass Love-Doll box cover

    “Three penetration orifices, battery operated internal vibrator with variable speed remote control. Real life vagina. Made of extra thick rubber vinyl, complete with repair kit for accidental penetration. Holds 275 lbs. She has a beautiful face mask and blonde hair.” —Convergence Inc.

Clothing sizes:

    Batteries Required: Two (2) AA cells

    Manufacturer: California Exotic Novelties (formerly Swedish Erotic)

feedback comments

    “I really enjoy my smartass love doll, it has a really great pussy (though the location could be better) and is very pleasant to look at and very fun to be with, the only problem was it was supposed to come with a repair kit that I never received, but overall I’m very pleased with my purchase.” —Tim; e-mail; March 12, 2002

    “A great doll. Has blonde hair which seems a bit strange since some of it is stuck on the forehead. Huge beautiful tits. The vagina and anus are molded but unlike other molded dolls you can easily insert your penis into it. The only drawback is the anatomically incorrect location of the vagina.” —Jack Lovedoll; E-Mail; May 30, 1999

    “I decided on the Smart Ass Love-Doll after reading many doll descriptions and reviews on this website ( I ordered it from I was very, very disappointed because of both choices.

    “I placed my order online with on January 5, 2001. My credit card was charged for the purchase on 1/6. In addition to this doll I ordered a box of condoms.

    “Not receiving my shipment or hearing from, I telephoned them on 1/22. (I had to ‘dig’ on their website for the phone number. I believe I finally found it on the Order page. Not toll-free 909 681-3721.)

    “After inquiring why my order had not been received yet I was told, after much fumbling and bumbling on their end, that part of my order was not in stock. Also, I was informed that orders are sent one to two weeks after the order is ‘put into the system’ and mine was entered on 1/12/01. That’s seven days after I placed my order and six days after my credit card was charged by when my order was finally ‘put into the system.’ What’s up with that??

    “Speaking via telephone on 1/22 told me she would have the doll shipped immediately — and did follow up with an email. I received the Love Doll yesterday, 1/25, via UPS. I still await receipt of the seemingly out-of-stock 12 pak of Trojan condoms.

    “My impression of is that it's an operation run out of someone’s garage. I will NOT purchase from them again — and would not recommend anyone else do either.

    “Now, after all that, on to the doll reviewƒ

    “After waiting three weeks for her arrival I was looking forward to spending a little quality time with her. Sadly, what I had been anticipating and what I got were two very different things.

    “The physical description of the Love-Doll on this website is quite accurate. Her construction appears solid. Her pussy lips and anal opening also appear well constructed. But that’s where the good qualities of this doll end.

    “I am not a large man. My cock is about 6.5 inches and perhaps a bit larger than average in circumference. This doll’s mouth is so small my erect penis will not come close to fitting. The anal opening, too, is so tight (and the rubber is so rigid) the pain trying to enter it is simply too much to bear. I was left with one more love hole into which to attempt entry.

    “The vaginal lips are attractive and inviting. If these were real ones they would be the type one would love to suck and fuck. Unfortunately, they are NOT real and, again, constructed of hard rubber. The rigidity does not allow the opening to stretch sideways (horizontally) enough to allow pain-free entry. I actually had to turn the doll somewhat sideways to gain admission.

    “The entire love tunnel of this doll is lined with numerous hard rubber ‘nubs.’ After a very short 30 to 60 seconds of pumping into these nubs the pain was so intense an orgasm was almost impossible to achieve. Even now as I write this review, twelve hours after my encounter with the Love-Doll, my cock is so sore even my underwear rubbing gently against it is painful.

    “Lastly, the unpleasant rubber-nubbed tunnel between the anal and vaginal openings is connected. That is to say it is one in the same. (One can see in one hole and out the other.) Be advised that any lube you may use or anything you may deposit in the tunnel will simply drip out the other side. Put a towel down under her.

    “I had one doll prior to this one. She was enjoyable and fuckable but the construction was weak and she popped so many seems she became impossible to fix. With the Love-Doll I hoped ‘molded, pliable’ would indicate not only enjoyment but a doll that would be longer lasting than my first. I didn’t know it would mean my cock would either not fit or be rubbed painfully raw within seconds.

    “As you have read I do not like this doll at all. Perhaps those with very small cocks might enjoy something about her — but even that is questionable. It will most certainly be some time before I again invest $100 in a rubber playmate. If and when I finally do I will not be making my purchase from the internet. I’ll be doing a hands-on inspection of my ‘date’ first.” —Duane; E-Mail; January 26, 2001

    Hotflix: “Well, you should have picked something else to poke fun at as AVN (The Adult Video News) just named us the largest worldwide provider of DVD titles. We now carry more than 4500 DVD titles of the 4900 that are estimated to be on the market. I certainly hope that clears things up for you.” —Sara Matthews, Western Regional Sales Director, Hotflix Video Corporation

See this web page for more information on Hotflix.

    If you have used this doll, please share your impressions through the feedback form provided below.


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    List Price: U.S. $156.95

    U.S. $99.99 Hotflix Video [NOTE: We have received complaints about Hotflix Video and now they are threatening to sue us for reporting the complaint, which strikes at the very heart of an independent review site. See details.]

    U.S. $115.00

    U.S. $126.95 Discreet Online Shopping

    U.S. $149.95 4 Play Sex Toys

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dolls themed to emphasize asses

Greek Girl Love Doll   Smart Ass Love Doll

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Smart Ass Love Doll

    Some text and pictures copyright © Convergence Inc. Used by permission.

    Copyright © 1998, 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003, 2005

    Last Updated: June 12, 2005

    Created: May 24, 1998

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